not keeping the abuse a secret

a child-sexual-abuse survivor's blog


Leave a comment

hard chain to break

I’m single.  Not in a relationship.  (For, years and, years.)  So, my son has urged me to try online dating avenues.

This is the thing.

What being sexually abused as a child does to a woman… — What being sexually abused by an older brother you used to look up to, does to a child… — What seeing your father r-e-g-u-l-a-r-y steer your sisters into his bedroom to sexually abuse them does to one… — What being roofied and raped as an adult does to a woman — What being raped by a guy you meet in a club and make the mistake of inviting home does to a woman…

Gosh, how to say this?

Um, there’s a lack of trust that ensues??  (Righteously so, folks.)  (Common-sense logically so.)  (Like, one would have to be an idiot or, severely dissociative [<- Been there, too…] to “trust normally?”  I mean, C’mon.)

cartoon, your worst fear, by matt bors--fr dailykosDOTcom
Your Worst Fear
Not all men.  Just some.”
— Matt Bors cartoon.
Find political cartoonist Matt Bors on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mattbors ,
on Twitter at https://twitter.com/MattBors .

 Hard chain to break…

[1] — inspiration

Leave a comment

I have been in SUCH a slump now for weeks, feeling so bereft of family even though I come from a family of seven children (plus have, a son and grandson…).

Recognize that I have to pull myself out of this; I have before, I will, always, again — I am, first & foremost, a survivor — but some days/weeks are harder than others. :-/

I was Google-searching sexual abuse survivor blogs and felt nudged by Kim Coleman’s: “kimmysurviving,” http://kimmysurviving.wordpress.com . Thank you, Kim.

Felt further nudged by Kim’s Google+ post, “Don’t stay silent on sexual abuse” http://us.cnn.com/2014/01/21/opinion/brennan-sexual-abuse/index.html?sr=sharebar_google , a CNN Opinion piece by Allison Brennan.

Then, somewhere along in there, what do I see but, “18 Survivors Of Sexual Assault Tell The Numbers Behind Their Stories” — http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/survivors-of-sexual-assault-tell-the-numbers-behind-stories — with brave women holding up poster-sized signs that made/make, me want to cry.

It’s nice to know, others want the silence to stop, too.

This gallery contains 1 photo.